Where Have We Gone Wrong As Women..


By Njeri Kariuki

It is hilarious; somewhat exciting to see our men pull the ‘Eritrea move on us!

Many a men, who live in the comfort of their plagued sexual lifestyles, are considering (and some are on the ground) flying to Eritrea for polygamy escapades, following a ‘directive’ that ostensibly requires Eritrean men to marry more than one woman, or risk a jail term. What else should the Kenyan women say, other than a self-consoling “it is well with us?”

We see the posts and tweets by ‘our men,’ that the final destination of their  life is Eritrea- the land of beautiful women with fair skin and no freckles on their faces, with hair flowing down their backs as if it rained long hair for the first time yesterday! Did our men just take note of their very existence? How late, nay, behind news can our men be!

From where I sit, I see our men, Kenyan men, ogle at photos of Eritrean girls as if they are the finest women South of Limpopo! Pray tell me, dear Kenyan men, from the images and photos of Eritrean women doing rounds, which one whets your appetite? I could be wrong, but have you considered the conventional wisdom that ugly is everywhere, and that includes Eritrea!

With the fascination of soft- fair skin * or what the streets call yellow-yellow* lying by your side, somewhere in Asmara, just as it appears on memes circulating on the World Wide Web, one can only hope that the Eritrean  women would enlighten the ego of our men, and at the same time, massage their groin area, more than their Kenyan counterparts! At that juncture, our men can then go spread the gospel according to Saint Eritrean Women, to everyone they know, including that Kenyan woman-wife or girlfriend (whoever is current) who possibly slaved herself to cater to their very needs!

It is unfortunate that most men craze about being part of what is trending on social media; helped along the way by immature thoughts that lead one to decide that a very noble thing to do is to be part of masses, who may include boys-whose direction to what they think and how they apply common sense is governed by what the majority are doing on the ‘trending’ platform. While you dream of that air flight to Eritrea, one would wonder what difference it would make in your life. All the drooling caused by the thought of beautiful-foreign-women by your side, who possibly may not understand you because they do not speak the same language as you, may end up being hopelessly disappointing, when you face the reality that these women may not have a desire for sexual contact with you!

Then what?

While our men continue to show the desire to marry more wives, I am persuaded to ask, where have we gone wrong as women? This is one great social media experiment. Is it true to state that our men/young men and even those married may not find value in that one woman they live with? When will women ever discuss this topic? While many of the men may be playing along because it is a trending topic, have we, as women, contributed to the men’s obvious wandering eyes, thoughts and behavior!

Who will teach women the key and sacrosanct secrets to keeping a man afloat! Do we stay true to the traditions of African Culture, where our grandfathers were known to indulge with more than one wife!  Are we willing to adapt to that in 2016!?

If Eritrea is not the underlining issue, why not seek to understand core issue, and resolve it here at home. My gut feeling tells me we are shying away from serious conversations. For example, on a Diaspora group the other week, a question was posed: “is it Godly to perform oral sex on your husband?” Apparently, the absence of this practice is leading to disintegration of some marriages because one party feels like they should get and opt to fetch it from other sources to satisfy the urge. Some sought the guidance of spiritual leaders, others asked for better explanations from older women, while some quoted the bible! Still, there are those who just “followed” the debate, occasionally liking the stimulating comments! And knowing that there is no sin when seeking for sexual satisfaction from our partners; time has evolved; I dearly hope that women are doing what pleases their spouses/ special person and vice versa… If sexual pleasures are what resulted to this episode of Eritrea, I think we should all be “f$%#ing” like rabbits and enjoying the pleasures, to explore sexuality as desired by many men and women!

In the final analysis, juicy stakes should be served at every request. Let’s get a grip on our men, women… and when we do, maybe Eritrea would not be desirable after all