“Robert Alai’s Apology to Caroline Mutoko”


Dear Caroline:


I hope this letter finds you well. I want to reach out to you, and apologize for my error of judgment that resulted in me sharing an unpalatable message on social media. This message denigrated your womanhood, ridiculed your innocent daughter, mocked your intelligence and caused pain to your family and friends. I used words and phrases, which, I would never use on my mother, daughter,  sister, or aunt. I am sorry. Moreover, my words were not wise and derided not only you, but society in general. I am sorry-please forgive me.

I have spent a few hours thinking about my choice of words and what led me to write something about you that was full of hatred. I should not excuse my behavior whatsoever. I was wrong. Period. Upon self-reflection,  there are better methods I could have used to counter your arguments as contained in your article in the Star newspaper, without getting personal and abusive. My judgement was not sound and was precipitated by the heat of the moment.

Caroline, I am aware that to be forgiven, more than saying “I am sorry” is required. First, I need to show a genuine repentance-a determination to change and be a role model to others on how to disagree, on social media,  without being disagreeable. In addition, I hope this apology shows you my broken spirit which has led me to seek forgiveness from God. My prayer is for God to help me work on my pride and anger which could have clouded my judgment, and led me to an unwarranted emotional outburst.

Admitting that one is wrong is not an easy thing to do. But a logical and rational human being must always leave room for correction. I stand corrected; I want to show that I have the ability to change. Change is a difficult thing to do. Perhaps by our interaction today, we have ignited a new wave and created a platform where people will be respectable and dignified even when disagreeing. I do not want to be trapped in my mess; I want to turn and be a respectable blogger, father, and fellow Kenyan. From being callous, I am now sensitive. From being hostile, I now show love. From being petty, I am now purposeful. From being careless, I am now disciplined.

The Bible teaches us that when lions and lambs lie down together, none will be afraid, and there will be peace in the valley. It sounds impossible. Lions eat lambs. Lambs sensibly flee from lions.  Yet even lions and lambs find common ground. Why? Because neither lions nor lambs want their country to degenerate into hate. Neither lions nor lambs want people to denigrate manhood or womanhood. If lambs and lions can find common ground, surely, Alai and Caroline can also find common ground-Our common ground is that we both love Kenya too much. We both want the best for our country. It is no longer about us-that time is long gone. The Kenya we are passionate about is the one that our children will inherit from us-that is our common ground.

Hubert Humphrey said: “When all is said and done, we must forgive each other, and redeem each other, and move on.”

Ps: This is an apology letter to Caroline from Alai, as imagined by MxM. MxM  deals with conflict analysis and is always eager to see people set aside perceived differences.


  1. For a moment I thought that we had come to that moment where there was civility in our social media interactions. And maturity had dawned on us where there was acceptance of responsibility . There is hope with peace keepers like you arbitrating on this social media conflicts…